The Lost Journals: Chapter One – Pg. 6

St. Jude Hospital

Memphis, TN

1/7/2001 – Journal Entry One

My name is Sarah Clark and I am from Nashville, TN. Lately it has felt like I am from Memphis though… well not really from the city itself. I live in St. Jude Hospital. My parents and my sister Julie won’t say why I am here, they think I am too young to understand things still. I am almost fourteen and I feel like I am growing older each day. Well I know I am growing older, that is a silly statement, but I think I am learning things that I shouldn’t be at this age. It doesn’t take long to realize what a place is for… when you have been living there for three weeks. I know too much now.

My mother gave me this diary when I was twelve. I remember throwing it in a drawer and muttering something like “diaries were so last century mom.” I am glad I didn’t throw it away in some childish spurt of anger that us kids are so prone to. We commit these acts without thought of future consequence because what is the future to the young? It is simply another day away… But not when you are dying. Not when you suddenly know that each day is precious. The young shouldn’t understand this and normally I would be speaking of myself… but I am not. Another patient here Adam is only ten and still there are younger patients in my wing.

The laughter that fills these halls daily is still a bit haunting to me. I am learning that it is like laughing in the face of death and it strengthens you simply by doing it. It makes you appreciate the moment. The moments are precious lately. I wish my father would come around more, he has withdrawn a lot since we arrived. My sister tells me that he spends a lot of time alone in his hotel room. The times that he comes by are glossed over by small talk and attempts at jokes that only bring pain because they are connected to some memory of the past that we share. It seems to remind us that we will soon only have memories. Him on this world and me wherever I shall go. His eyes appear as glass from the constant film of tears that he holds back in my presence. I can see the reflection of his fears and my own in his eyes. I don’t know who I am more scared for, him or me.

I find this diary serves as a nice release. It can get crowded in this wing… sadly. I think I will continue to write if only for the pleasure of it.

Sarah Clark

***

This is my blog book I am offering to the readers of my blog. The whole story can be found at the following link http://shatteredsmoke.com/category/the-lost-journals/ I hope you enjoy the story. All content is owned and copyrighted. You may re-blog, pingback, or share the contents but please give credit to the author and this website. Thank you, -OM

Page 6 OM 01/06/2014