My Writing “Process”

Everyone else is writing “how to” articles so I decided I would write one as well. This is my “how to” process on writing blogs. Hopefully you find some helpful information here.

I begin by putting on a plastic crown that I keep next to my desk. This is to remind me that I am a king and that everything I say is really freaking important. Thus, it should be written.

Next I generally light some candles to set the mood. Only the candles aren’t bright enough and the computer screen really begins to hurt my eyes because of the contrast in natural and unnatural light. This begins to actually alter my mood and force a struggle between my natural and unnatural writing voice. This shit is just crazy.

I normally like to start off with a fun sentence to “get the mood” going. Many people use small posts or quick brain storming exercises to “get the juices flowing.” I will focus in on an emotion such as “God, this burger is really disgusting. Why did I pay seven dollars for this shit? I might be sick.” After a few sentences like that I am REALLY in the mood. A little Keith Sweat and we are ready to rock and roll! Wait… we were talking about writing…

Animals really help writers sometimes to relax and to get over a “hump” if they are struggling with a portion of their story. Fluffy, my pet Liger, is always there for me. Purr Fluffy… purr…

Finally there is the editing part of my writing, or lack thereof. This part of my writing process is the most complex so I will try to be as specific as I can. I had a custom 8 ball created, you know the one that you shake and ask a question to, but instead I had the ball modified to tell me if a sentence is a run on or not and I can safely say the ball has yet to be wrong because I see no run on sentences in this entire post so that is really a good thing and I am really glad I bought this awesome ball!


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54 Responses to My Writing “Process”

  1. Liese le Roux says:

    Purr Fluffy… purr… hahaha love it!

  2. Love it!! AHhhhhhh, I’m dying, LOL. “Why did I pay seven dollars for this shit? I might be sick.” 😉 Thanks for making my day, OM!

  3. Delilah says:

    Let me get my plastic crown…no wait, I want a tiara.

  4. Deborah says:

    I love the magic 8 ball, and it’s so accurate, too! I need one of these so I can use it with my writing students. Then they can win their argument that they don’t write run-on sentences! Thanks for the tip! (Love the plastic crown!)

  5. MTJames says:

    Not a thing wrong that I can see! Wait! My Edit-sense is tingling.

  6. Elaine says:

    Oh I just love this OM! Very clever and wonderful play on giving advice! I’m still laughing! One piece of advice from me is that you might just want to trade in your 8 ball on a newer model that will work better and give you a better answer every time about run on sentences and things of that sort that just drive everyone crazy or make them confused like me when they are reading someone elses work, not their own, because none of us ever make that mistake of running on and on and on and on and on until . we . run . out. of . steam………….thud!

  7. Maybe I should write a how to avoid writing, I’m an expert

  8. KG says:

    Oh! a HUGE process that is. I thought you wrote like how people played piano, 2 laptops , 2 hands, and the symphony of the keyboards 🙂

  9. savannah99 says:

    to write or not to write? that is the question, after all that I think you should just go to bed!

  10. LindaGHill says:

    Let’s just hope Fluffy doesn’t see a squirrel outside that glass room of yours and while we’re at it, how is it that an 8 ball can tell you if you’re having run on sentences when the number 8 is synonymous with the symbol for ‘forever’? You need a magic 7 ball like mine, It NEVER misses. And it also tells me when I need a more intelligent comment.
    Damned 7 ball.

  11. 2l2phant says:

    My hubby laughed hysterically at your post and also researched a liger… He never knew it was possible 🙂 thanks for the lesson 😉

  12. idiotwriter says:

    God – you are a life saver – I felt the pressure – I truly did! *scrumples up draft about creative writing* (that reached 2000 words no less) Me – I a gonna stick with poetry me thinkses. 😉

  13. 2l2phant says:

    Thank you for this great article! I’ll be going now.

    ***wriggles beneath liger ‘s weight***

    OM ?

    ***wrestles a bit and feels the claw tips hold her in place as the cats got breath steams up her glasses***

    OM! Help?!?!

  14. I prefer colored neon lighting when I write. It seems to set the mood for the first sentence I always end up erasing:
    “Oh no she didn’t. ..”
    There always seems to be one post that annoys me as soon as I log in. Gets me in the spirit, ya know. I like to invision a bar fight… 😉

  15. Your last sentence is certainly very wordy.

  16. John says:

    Nice non run-on last paragraph.

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